Grief

Except nobody died.

This recession has finally kicked in. And my business is feeling it. 3 years after opening the place and now I feel like I'm looking at the end. I'm not going down without a fight. It's hard to imagine that a business was making $20,000 +/- a month is now down to less than $10K a month. It makes me sick. It scares me.

I'm looking at getting a weekend job because I can't go without a paycheque for much longer. If things flop, I would really like to open a dayhome. I would need 5 full-time children to make what I make now. And I'd wouldn't need to depend on after school childcare because I could actually be a part of my daughters life after school. The word around town is that childcare is lacking. I sure hope I could find 5 children and their parents.

Emily wanted to go to McDonald's tonight and I said no. She doesn't ask very often and I've said no before. But this time was different, it was a 'no' because of lack of funds and not a 'no' because it's healthier to eat at home. She didn't eat her vegetables so she had to go to bed in her own bed.

And now I'm kind of sad because she's not going to be sleeping with me.